Hot or Not. I love myself.
This morning I woke up from a dream in which I was sitting surrounded by a group of girls. And in the dream, the game that had been decided to be played was a rating game. It was a game in which each girl would be rated out of 10 by how good looking she was. In the dream, I felt sick. I knew this was wrong. But at the same time, I felt powerless.
As the winner was announced, she was overcome with joy at being chosen 'Number One Most Beautiful'. And just as I was about to jump out of my seat and tell them what an effect this would have on every girls sense of self-worth...I woke up.
It was just a dream Helena.
But then I realized, this is happening all across the world. Have you seen the 'Hot or Not videos'? I hope not. I googled them for research and felt so emotional over the fact that girls could get amusement from criticizing and judging other people in their own classroom, by stating whether they were hot or not. And doing it publicly!
Then I remembered..."Helena, this is what happens every day in all of our main stream media...television, advertising, movies, magazines..."
Women are compared to one another. And this isn't based on their intelligence, work - ethic or accomplishments. This is simply based on how they look.
So now, as a nation of young women, from the moment we're born, we're programmed to think that our self-worth comes from what we look like. And we think it's ok to judge one another, solely based on whether they're 'hot or not'!
Except, we're being programmed by billion dollar corporations that make extremely large profits from preying on our insecurities and lack of self-worth. They make money from the fact that we don't have the perfect, airbrushed and photo-shopped skin as the model in the picture..who doesn't even have skin like that anyway, because again, it's photo-shopped.
We also buy that new coconut water because subconsciously, I think maybe I'll look like Jessica Alba feeling sexy on a white sand beach. And I know I've bought magazines with pictures of beautiful, sexy women on the front cover because I was thinking..."If I buy this, maybe I can learn to look as perfect as that."
Except, we're constantly reaching for an ideal that doesn't exist.
"So", I thought, as I was still waking up from my drowsy dream..."What if I took all of that away?"
What if I didn't use any beauty products for a certain length of time? What if I refused to spend the 15,000 dollars a year that a woman spends on average on her looks?
I know it seems extreme. But naturally, at just the thought of it...my fears came up...
'What would I look like?'
'Would I be judged?'
'What would it be like going to parties or events with no makeup on?'
'Would people accept me?'
And then I thought...Hang on, that would mean I'd have to realize that my value and self-worth come from what's beneath the makeup and beauty products. I am me because of my charm, my intelligence, my history, the places I've been and the things I've experienced.
And that was my 'aha' moment.
So, let's choose to separate our sense of value from the way we look. Let's realize that marketing is simply a money - making tool. And that if you took all of those things away, you would still be you.
You would still be whole and complete within yourself.
And when you see a beautiful woman on a poster, or walking down the street, instead of feeling jealousy or a sense of lack...remember, you don't know this woman. All you see are her looks. There is no reason to feel inadequate or jealous because you have nothing to base that on.
You are not any less or any more. You are perfectly imperfectly wonderful and a whole and complete person within yourself.
As an exercise I would like you to count how many photo-shopped images you see in one day. Notice them and let me know!
What kind of an effect is this pressure having on you? How do you think we could make the world a less judgmental and looks based society for young women?
I would love to hear from you...so leave a comment in the section below!
Lots of love,