This morning meant the world to me...
I’m sitting here today on my balcony in Los Angeles with the summer sun tickling my face. I have a big cup of coffee in my hand and a yummy delicious and nourishing breakfast that I’m about to enjoy. I whipped up some organic eggs, diced half an avocado, some tomato and salad and made my very own yummy breakfast wrap.
Ok, so why are you telling me this? I hear you say. Why are these details important?
Well, because as I sit here I just feel this overwhelming sense of how far I’ve come. For so long, I would have never felt this comfortable around food; I would have judged myself for the full plate of food in front of me; and I would never have felt this relaxed in my body.
In fact, for a long time, this is how my morning would have gone down:
- Wake up
- Immediately head to the bathroom and step on the scales
- Decide whether today was going to be a good day or a bad day, depending on the number on the scales.
- Go to my self-made calendar that contained images of Victoria Secret models and thin celebrities (for motivation) and write down my precise weight for that day.
- Compare weight to previous days.
- If number had increased, beat myself up for whatever I had eaten the day before that may have caused me to go up a pound.
- Head to kitchen and try to ignore my rumbling stomach.
- Make strong black coffee to help me empty my stomach.
- Eat dry toast with a measured teaspoon of strawberry jam (so nutritious, right!?)
Yep, what a lovely, inspiring and joy-filled way to start my day! Um, no. Not at all.
Fast forward to today and I cannot tell you what an amazing sense of freedom I feel now that I no longer feel so much tension or stress surrounding my body or the food I fuel it with. I feel like a new person. I enjoy my food. I don’t count calories. I eat yummy and nourishing foods. And I never deprive myself!
And what’s crazy, is my body loves me so much for it! So much so, it dropped all the excess weight I was holding onto during my diet filled days. Yes. Not dieting actually caused me to lose weight. And not because I was trying to, but because I started focusing on having a positive relationship with my body and treating it the way I would a best friend.
I had to hit rock bottom in order for this to happen. And I will do all I can to prevent that from happening to any other young girls out there who also struggle with negative thoughts and feelings surrounding their body.
I want you to know:
IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE THAT WAY.
My life has changed so much for the better and my breakfast plate this morning is just an incredible reminder of that.
I had to share my recovery journey with other young women around the world so that we can start preventing the unnecessary hurt, pain and dysfunctional eating habits that young women experience on a daily basis.
In just a few weeks I’ll be launching my new book:
‘Learning To Love The Girl In The Mirror’.
In it, I’ll share with you my brutally honest story of how I managed to kick an eating disorder in the butt and went from miserable and self-hating to absolutely loving the skin I’m in! I’m so excited to share it with you.
Be sure to download the first chapter of my book now so you can begin that journey today!
Love and light,